Your Favorite Accessory is Already On You
Plus a very awkward explanation about paywalls
This post brought to you from the exceptional brain of my friend, Samantha, who brought this idea to my attention and workshopped the details of it with me.
Please join me on my thought-train for a minute;
It all started when Friend A in my group chat mentioned to Friend B how her amazing (long & curly) hair acted like a sort of accessory to her.
But offline I was thinking about how Friend A’s haircut (short and blunt) is it’s own sort of accessory, especially in the way it highlights necklaces that Friend A wears.
A few weeks passed when Friend C clocked this quote from a recent post by
.Also, something about my stomach growing and really starting to protrude from the center of my person has me thinking about how it (the belly) kind of functions as the ultimate accessory.
I LOVE seeing women rock their baby bump as an accessory. I’m especially partial to the wave that Rhianna seemingly popularized by rocking her bare bump.
The conversation with my friends went on to point out that tattoos can be their own sort of accessory, adding friction to an outfit that might otherwise feel too pretty. Or just generally adding an edge to a look.
And since I’m not advocating that any of us go out and undergo a permanent change (like get pregnant or tattoos), here’s where the thought-train will station for a bit;
What if our best accessory is already on us?
What if your hair or your body is the antonym that adds the extra something (as I’ve talked about here).
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s street style is generally well-liked. Their brand, The Row, is basically the eye of the hurricane when it comes to influencer content. And for years MK&A partner their incredibly petite frames (they are 5’1” according to the internet) with over-sized clothes and accessories.
Again, brilliant Friend A also pointed out how someone like
leans masculine in her dressing but her long, blonde hair adds a point of tension. The outfit would read differently if Ali had really cropped (or even a pixie) hairstyle. Neither look is better or worse, just different vibes. I know vibes isn’t an official terms, but we all get it, right?!
SUPER IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: this is NOT a post about how we should be dressing to flatter our shape. Frankly that’s not something I spend any time thinking about so I’m not the right person to write that particular post. BUT I would miss an opportunity here to say we can also dress for those parts of our body that we really love.
Maybe you have a larger chest and like the way you feel when your curves are accentuated. My friend has the most incredible six-pack that she loves to highlight with a crop top.
For example; I love to show some skin.. on my feet. I blame being a Millennial and jeans being centered around a cropped inseams for years and, perhaps, that I’m 5’3”. BUT I love the way I feel when my ankles are showing. You’ll find me in winter trying to flash you some skin on my feet.
My obsession with Katie Holmes extends to her nose ring (hard to see here) but it adds a layer of chill to an otherwise formal look.
Or peep the way the graceful aging on the woman on the right adds depth to an otherwise identical outfit on a younger girl.
And I always think of my friend who varies her hair from Senegalese twists to braids to natural and the way her hair has the power to change her outfit!
And now that this post, has brought this to your mind, you’ll see this idea everywhere. Your job is to come back to this post and tell me about it when you do!
And now for a note on subscriptions and paywalls. Each writer I met on Substack has a very different approach to how they paywall their content and each writer I talk to deserves to be recognized and paid for their writing. I have always felt a little uncomfortable thinking about putting a paywall on my content because, truthfully, I just don’t know how I would choose how to do it.
Also, perhaps not to secretly, I LOVE Substack and you will find me in all the comments sections and chats having a good ole time, so the idea that I might lose engagement makes me feel most sad.
I toyed around with one-time donations and I am forever grateful to those readers who supported me in that way. I am, personally, budget conscious and I dislike reoccurring monthly charges so I will continue to provide people with the chance to support me through one-time donations. Plus I get to keep 100% of the donation, unlike Substack subscriptions.
That being said, I’ve decided to start a subscription option. All readers will receive my newsletters and be able to read them in their entirety. However after 10 days, my past posts will exist behind a paywall.
If you enjoy my newsletter consider supporting me through a one-time donation or by subscribing. If you want access to my full archives but cannot manage that in your budget, please DM me and I will make sure you can read to your hearts’ content.
MOST IMPORTANTLY: THANK YOU TO YOU ALL FOR READING. I love you so, so much.
This. I’ve actually had a realization lately that my personal style has very little to do with my clothes and more to do with other things - hair, jewelry, fragrance, posture, confidence, the way I prefer to apply makeup (I think I FINALLY figured out the way I like to wear makeup), etc. Now, my “job” with dressing is to wear minimal and well made clothing that won’t detract from these other things that make me feel much more like “me” than clothes can. If that makes sense! Hair for SURE is a huge part of me feeling comfortable and confident throughout the day.
YES to all of this. Chanel + shaved head = subversive and interesting. Chanel on me = lady doing lady things. But ALSO, the good news is it works the other way. I feel a freedom to leave my shirt almost fully unbuttoned and to wear a rhinestone harness, because my age is a style tool that gives these elements friction/unexpectedness. Yay age! Yay you, Kelly! XO