Do you keep a wish list of purchases that you are considering? I used to keep a note in my phone which sometimes migrated to a piece of paper which I would lose track of. I really love the way Anna from
organizes on a Notion note (her posting about it here) and just recently and I got into a conversation in comments about her generic wish list vs. noteworthy items.But I’m always curious how people decide to move something off their wish list and finally hit “BUY.” Because I keep my wish list on secret Pinterest board I’m often reorganizing the wish lists trying to prioritize and, usually, something ends up staying at the top of the wish list long enough and I finally purchase. Occasionally I impulse buy items and while I, occasionally, regret the purchase, I more-so regret the purchases that I could have removed from the list I have patiently nurtured.
I’ve been using two exercises to help me really evaluate the items on my wish lists and how to know when it’s a thoughtful purchase.
Let’s take this skirt for example (asking for a friend, obviously ;))
I’ve been eyeing this skirt for a while and hemming and hawing over buying.
Tip One: Look for a substitute in your closet
Take the photo of the item you want and go look in your closet for anything that could scratch the itch. Do you have another midi skirt? Another white skirt? A midi dress (especially if in white)?
Look at all the same items you have of the same variety, in this case: skirt, and ask if the new item would duplicate anything you have. OR if buying the new item would squeeze another item out.
I have two skirts that compare to the above.
It seems pretty obvious that this skirt could be redundant to the maxi skirt on the left, but I like the shorter length on the Massimo Dutti skirt and the pencil cut. As for the skirt on the right, while it is a midi in my closet, they would be used for such different occasions because of their fabric alone.
These exercises aren’t specifically designed to get you to NOT buy something, but rather to provoke thought and, perhaps, lead to more conscious buying.
Tip Two: Prove it
This second step is going to look different for everyone but since I use the Whering app, I upload an image of the item I’m considering and I make myself create several outfits with the other items that already exist in my closet. If the outfit that I want to make with this skirt also requires new shoes and a new shirt, it’s not a worthy purchase.
Here are some of the outfits I created. I tried to cover multiple seasons because I’d like more 12 mo’ers in my closet.
If you don’t have your closet digitized you could physically go through your closet and lay it out BUT don’t just try to approximate in your mind and call it good. This step should make sure this piece will actually work for the real clothes/accessories you have. It might also be useful to ask; where would I wear this outfit? If you are designing “date night” outfits but you only do that once a week, is that the best use of your purchasing power?
When I buy a piece I want to know that it’s filling a hole (or at least not just the shiny new iteration of something I already have) AND that I could actually see myself wearing it. These two things have really helped me while I overthink my purchases. What helps you?
Speaking of thoughtful purchases; I thought I’d get really REAL here and show a handful of impulse purchases from 2024; things I bought without the thought of the above.
I bought a pair of sweat shorts off Poshmark after I saw an image on Pinterest (you’ll see a common theme here soon). Sometimes when an item is particularly inexpensive, I find it easier to justify an impulse purchase. To be fair, I recreated the outfit perfectly.
The most gorgeous pair of Emme Parson’s loafers showed up TheRealReal for an insane price! I hit purchase quickly because, while I wasn’t planning to buy a pair of loafers they are on my long-term wish list. Sadly, I had to return because they were too tight on me.
I blame my desire to recreate, again. Allegra Shaw posted an outfit with a great pair of yellow satin pants. Upon searching I found a pair on deep sale at Madewell and they were styled exactly as Allegra had. I quickly bought and I don’t exactly regret the pants but they need tailoring and I don’t love buying things that need adjustments.
I find that these impulse purchases are the hardest for me to style because I often bought them with one look in mind. I see it on the internet a lot, someone buying something and then wondering how in the world to style it. I think this is particularly easy to do when you got gotten by the algorithm and purchased something off an influencers feed that may not actually fit in your closet.
Our best friend in times like these are Pinterest and- here’s my secret sauce- LikeToKnow. You can drop the name of the item “Adidas Sambas” or name the item you bought simply (i.e. sweatshorts or silk pants) and search “sweatshort” or “sweatshort outfit” on these platforms to see how people are styling. Get creative and think about what might be adjacent to the thing you bought like “boxer short outfit.” But this obviously works for the most eccentric pieces like a tulle skirt or a printed maxi dress. Just dumb your search down to “maxi skirt outfit” or “statement skirt streetstyle.”
I’m not on social media but perhaps someone can share if there is a way to search on Instagram to get similar inspiration that way? Let me know!
I’m so grateful for to you for reading my newsletter and if you like my work you can make a one-time donation in support here.
I use the Moonsift app as a means of clicking without buying to delay matters and build a wish list across different genres. If you forget about something, it should be removed. One can also chart actual purchases to look back and make sense of them / be accountable.
Love this! I find the "where am I actually wearing this?" question SO helpful to sift out those pieces that ultimately go unworn. It can help to break the spell of a heavily pushed or well styled item.